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Proverbs 31:11Her husband can trust her and she will richly satisfy his needs.”

Meaning:

  • Firm belief in the honesty, strength and character of a person.
  • Confidence in a person.
  • Reliance on the truth of a statement by a person.
  • Responsibility arising from confidence in someone.

Trusting God

  • Trust is a gift; it gives new perspective on life's problems. (Romans 3:21-28)
  • Trust grows out of a reliance on God. (Proverbs 3:1-8)
  • Trust causes us to count on God's control and daily provision. (1 Peter 3:5,6)
  • Trust can be made stronger by keeping in daily touch with God.
  • Trust almost always involves patience. (Genesis 30:1-24)
  • Trust increases as we look back and count our blessings. (Exodus 14:10-11)

Trusting God means recognising firstly that God sees us as valuable. We need never fear personal threats or difficult trials. These cannot shake God's love or dislodge His Spirit from within us. (Romans 8:35-39) We need to show our trust in God by the way we stand up to the wear, tear and abuse of everyday life. We can learn every day how to apply the principles of God's word. We must be totally dependent on His Spirit for every action we take, in every area of our lives, however small we think it is. (Zechariah 4:6)

In the Old Testament, Joseph is an amazing example of someone who trusted God. Even when tempted to commit adultery, he refused and ran away! His reward for obeying God was prison! But it was also a season of training, which led to him being mightily used by God; ultimately saving a whole nation. (Genesis 39:7-20)

Trusting people

All men want a woman they can trust. “A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does.” (Proverbs 12:4)

What person is on the look-out for a friend who tears them down?

We can destroy trust by doing certain things and having certain attitudes:

  • Jokes that degrade a person, pulling them down in company.
  • Being sneaky, over money or time, or where we do not tell the truth.
  • Sharing a confidence that we have been trusted to keep.
  • Belittling our husband over the children, home or job.
  • Talking about other men in a suggestive way and comparing them with our partner.

When we begin to believe in what our husband is doing, and encourage him, a trust can develop and he will change. Recognise and respect the fact that your husband is a part of your family - the head of the family. When you honour and respect him, you allow him to begin to learn how to head the household in God’s way and then he will grow. Then both of you, as a team, can talk and pray together about how to train the children, sort the finances and so on. When we don't develop a confidence and trust in our husband, we actually open up the door for the devil to tempt him to do other things outside the home.

It begins with us and a desire to change!

Overcoming distrust

A big challenge for women lies in the decision-making process within the home. We may be tempted to distrust our husband's or parents' decisions. Instead, we have to believe God's word and put our trust in Him. There may be times when we feel that our husband has made a wrong choice. That is when we must take God's word and say, “Father, I am submitting myself to my husband. I love my husband and I know he is a man of God. I trust You to be working in his life and I submit to his decision”. This deals with the attitude of distrust. Remember, that submission doesn’t mean "I agree”, but is your choice to allow your husband to be the head of his household – a letting go of the reins.

Many of us have spent years showing our husband, by our attitudes and behaviours, that we do not value or need his opinion. We may have acted as though we have an honours degree in child-rearing and home-management. After several years of this, the best husband will cease to offer help or advice and we cannot blame anyone else except ourselves. However, we can repent (turn) from this attitude and ask our partner to forgive us. It’s important to talk together and pray about how to change the situation. Changes don’t happen overnight, so be patient! Keep going! (Titus 2:5; Philippians 3:12-14)

Another area of distrust can be the way that we dress ourselves. If we are dressing only to please our husbands, then why are we “dressed to kill”? Our husbands need to know that we want only to please them. The joyful woman can be totally trusted by her husband, even if she spends a lot of time in a man's world.

Godly relationships

What kind of relationships do you want to have with people? Do you want to be a strong, virtuous woman - someone that people will honour, esteem and trust? Or do you want to be a sneaky, lying woman who fosters mistrust in all her relationships?

Think about your relationships and challenge yourself with these questions:

  1. What have I been doing that would develop a lack of trust between my husband, child or friend and me?
  2. Have I been complaining, taking sides or being sneaky?
  3. Have I been comparing my husband, child or friend with someone else?

Stop and pray now. Repent (turn) and ask God to give you the Holy Spirit with His ability to be the wife, mother or friend that God wants you to be.

Learn to trust again

It is so important for all who have been hurt at some time and have learned not to trust, to make a decision to start trusting again.

  • Forgive each person who has caused you not to trust, by a choice of the will, not your feelings.
  • Choose one person that you want to trust and commit to love that person and consider their well-being above your own. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) As you choose to die to your own needs and desires, you will find that, even if that person lets you down, you do not take offence, because “dead” people do not get offended! Think of yourself as a corpse! It helps to picture ourselves in that way when we have to “die to ourselves daily”. (1 Corinthians 15:31)
  • Do not let hurting relationships from the past cloud your vision of fantastic, love-filled relationships for the future. Stop that "dead one" from rising up! Bury the past.
  • Above all, if you feel that God has let you down, or you do not understand why things have not gone according to your plan for your life, then do not hesitate to talk to God about it. Be honest and ask Him to give back to you your trust in Him. Take one Bible verse about your situation and hold tight to it. Watch while God does what He says and builds up your "wall of trust" in Him again. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

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