ZV7L0528 MarriageLove in Marriage: (see also What Jesus said about love)

What is love?

A lot of people don’t really understand what love is. It is a common word yet seems to be used very lightly. Home situations are in difficulty: Families splitting up; Strife in homes; Divorces; Broken engagements; People being severely hurt after a relationship breaks up.

Unless a person is born again (John 3:3), they cannot understand or know what the highest form of love is. To give such love a person has to know Jesus. They have to be born again, having God’s love in their heart. Love cannot be assumed. When we look at families we assume or take for granted that they must love one another, but Love is not automatic.

Genesis 2:18 We see that God puts families as a priority. The family life is important.

In English the word “love” can mean many different things. The Greeks had four different words for “love” with four different meanings to love


The New Testament writers chose this word (pronounced A-GAP-AY) to describe the highest kind of love. Agape means a love which comes from realizing and understanding the value and preciousness of a person. The quality of this love is determined by the one who loves the person loved. It is the God kind of love. He realises and understands how precious you are; and the character and quality of this love is determined by the character of God. It is determined by the character of the one who loves and not the person who is being loved. That means where your character is lacking in this love, His character makes up the difference. This is the love that drove Jesus Christ to the Cross, which shows the ultimate sacrifice of true love.


This means sexual love. The world would have us think or believe this is the highest kind of love, or the highest level of love. Eros very often occurs between those outside of marriage, but it can only take on its true meaning when it is combined with agape in the marriage relationship. It is only in the marriage relationship that you can have the combination of agape and eros, because you can only see a person as valuable and precious in a sexual relationship in a marriage.


This means a friend, brotherhood. Philia is a love consisting of whatever we see in a person that gives us pleasure. Philia’s quality is determined by the character of the one who loves and the one loved; but it is extended on the basis of pleasure, not character. Thus, people have wrong friends. Two people of very low character can get together and be friends, but the morality of their relationship can be poor.


(pronounced STORG-AY). This means affection. This is the kind of love most often shown by the world to children, the elderly and to each other. Storge may or may not take any account of the individual, and may be little more than a pat on the head, a smile, a handshake, a hug, even a kiss. Family Love.