Men are to love (agape) their wives even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).
Look at Christ’s love for the Church (Romans 5:8; 8:35-39). This kind of love is unmerited, given to the undeserving. It sacrifices everything even to life itself.
Who is in charge?
1. The husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the Head of the Church, He Himself the Saviour of the Body. Saviour is the provider of all things: love, finances, comfort, companionship. Thus should the husband provide for the wife. The husband is described as the one with the garment which speaks of protection (Deuteronomy 22:30; Ruth 3:9; Ezekiel 16:8).
2. Christ so loved the Church that He wanted to sanctify and cleanse it by the Word.(Ephesians 5:26,27.) In loving his wife, a husband will seek to protect her from all defilement, striving not to anger her, argue with her, etc. Begin speaking words that encourage her and build her up. Take Proverbs 31 and speak in faith to your wife. Marriage breakdowns happen when communication stops. Keep all channels of communication open at all times, talking out each problem.
Acknowledge and appreciate the worth of your wife (and children). Always express your confidence in your wife (and children).
A man’s agape-love for his wife.
1. The nature of agape-love is that it is proactive love, based on the nature of the giver and not on the receiver. Wives are told to love their husbands with phileo-love, a responsive love based on something done (Titus 2:4).
2. A husband’s body has needs which he meets, so he is to meet the wife’s needs. In doing so the husband’s emotions toward her change (Ephesians 5:28-30.)
3. “Nourishing” in verse 29 (King James Version) means to nurture the wives to bring them to maturity; whereas, “Cherishing” (King James Version) literally means to soften or warm with body heat, as a bird sitting on a nest, showing how the husband provides warmth and security for the wife.
4. The husband who does not meet the wife’s emotional, spiritual, and physical needs ultimately destroys himself, since they are members of one another as the Church are members of Christ (Ephesians 5:30).
5. This kind of love is a strong bond (Ephesians 5:31, Genesis 2:24).
6. The motive of love is that by your marriage you are either a symbol or a denial of His Church (Ephesians 5:32,33)
7. Husbands must try to be sensitive, understanding, considerate (1 Peter 3:7). Feel what she feels. Then share together and enjoy the partnership.
8. In the last days perilous times will come with selfishness (2 Timothy 3:2), children’s rebellion (2 Timothy 3:2), lack of normal family love (2 Timothy 3:3), attacks on the home (2 Timothy 3:6). We must be prepared for this time.
Husbands, you can have the victory in your home if you hold to God’s pattern.