Sex outside marriage


Pre-marital sex

You cannot see someone as being valuable and precious and still enter into pre-marital sex with them. If you do, you are saying that you don't see any value in that person.

If a marriage occurs between a couple without "agape" love, it can still work, as long as they find themselves "pleasing" to one another ("philia"). (See "Love in Marriage".) However, without "agape" love, it is very likely that the marriage will break up in time. "Agape" love can be developed by any person who is determined to be filled with the love of God. Some of the best marriages have come about when couples have come to the point where they can't see anything good about their partner, but have committed themselves to walk in love anyway, with the grace and mercy of God, and the feelings have followed. God's love has always got to be a million times better than our natural love.


Our enemy, the devil, is out to break up marriages. If you don't value your life-time partner and work continuously to keep your relationship alive and healthy, it will be very easy for Satan to deceive you. Then someone else may enter into the picture; someone you may think is more "pleasing" to you than your existing husband or wife. Many men and women throughout history have wrecked their marriages and, indeed, their lives as a result of allowing themselves to be distracted by someone else in this way. Look at the account of King David and his adultery with Bathsheba. The result of that was a dead husband, a dead child, the loss of respect from his sons, but also restoration from God when he was challenged by the prophet, Nathan, and experienced full repentance. (2 Samuel, chapters eleven and twelve)

"Agape" love does not develop automatically. It takes time, effort and patient work to see someone else as valuable and precious.

See 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and reflect on what love is. Never say that you cannot see anything good in a person. If God sees good in us and other people, then surely we can do the same, ask Him to open our eyes to see them how He sees them..