Real Women

No. 9 – Are you a Darling or a Delilah?

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Judges 16:1-30

Hear we are looking at a woman who deliberately set about ruining a spiritual leader. Delilah was a Philistine woman, who belonged to a people who worshipped idols. This was a woman who had little respect for herself or for her body; she was little more than a highly paid prostitute. The Bible shows these conclusions.

As a woman she was created by God to be a companion for one man, but she degraded herself and caused misfortune and damage to Samson, the man who loved and trusted her.

Samson was a man, called of God, a Nazarite; dedicated to God before his birth Judges 13:4-5. He ruled and judged Israel for twenty years. His parents were elated at the news of his birth, another miracle, as initially his mother could have no children. Samson grew into a leader, he possessed mighty physical strength, and to his enemies he was unconquerable. God said Samson would begin to deliver Israel from the hand of the Philistines, Judges 13:5. In spite of this call on his life, he was morally weak, he had no control over his sexual desires; disastrous for a spiritual leader.

Delilah was not the first Philistine woman in Samson’s life, he had married one against his parent’s wishes, spent the night with a prostitute and then met Delilah. She was approached by the five heads of the Philistine nations and offered eleven hundred pieces of silver, Judges 16:5. It was now a national necessity to bring down Samson. Where they had failed, Delilah’s slyness had to succeed. They said to Delilah, talk to him, and find out what makes Samson so strong.

Each piece of silver weighed sixteen grams. The total amount of silver would have been an inconceivable amount, better than winning the lottery. So was it Delilah’s love of money that made her accept, or did she as other Philistines, have bitterness and anger at Samson, an Israelite? This offer must also have appealed to her pride, for as a woman she was of far less importance, yet the leaders were begging for her help.

Delilah began her deceit by using every means, as a woman, that she had at her disposal.

*Flattery – “Please tell me what makes you strong?” Judges 16:6.

*Temper tantrums – “…you have mocked me and told me lies…” Judges 16:10.

*Questions his integrity – “making fun of me and telling lies.” Judges 16:13.

*Emotional blackmail – “How can you say you love me she whined?” Judges 16:15

Delilah was now losing her patience so she then used her only means left, her mouth. “She nagged and nagged continually until he could no longer stand it” Judges 16:16-17                                                                                    


Here we can see Delilah is persistent in obtaining what she wants and she knows where she is going. These can be good qualities if used in a godly way. Persistence when faced with obstacles can build character in us and strengthen us. To know what we want to achieve and where we are going, gives us focus in reaching goals and desired results.


Delilah’s weakness was her love of money over everything else, even her relationships. She even betrayed the man who gave her his love. With her character, is it any wonder that she betrayed Samson?

How about us?

How can we keep our desire for love, sexual pleasure, security, and financial security from deceiving us into believing Satan’s lies? We need to learn who we are in Christ to be able to be the whole person the Father created us to be. Only then can we be someone else’s other half. We must use our womanhood in a godly manner, so we are living as God created us to be, a husband’s lover; Helper; Homemaker; child bearer. We need to consider whether we are a Darling or a Delilah, first to God then to our man (husband or boyfriend).

Consider Proverbs 31:30 “Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain, but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!”

1.  Do we flatter to obtain favour?

2.  Do we sulk?

3.  Are we persistently nagging with our tongue?

4.  Do we use our bodies to gain control?

5.  Are we controlling by losing our tempers?

6.  What is the reason for the way we dress?

Samson had only himself to blame as he had betrayed himself by being out of fellowship with God. But Delilah was personally responsible for Samson’s downfall. She stood before God responsible for her deeds, she was accountable in this disaster.

We choose to stay close to God. There are heavy consequences resulting from our choices. Our true security is only found in staying close to God.

Guidance for those looking for love.

1.  Decide what kind of person you are looking for, before passion takes over.

2.  Most of the time spent with your partner will not involve sex so look for companionship; personality;    temperament; and commitment. All these must be more gratifying than hot steamy kisses!

3.  Be patient, do not leap into something that is wrong, a second look often shows a different side.

Remember personality, character, pleasantness are attractive alternatives to looks.

Beauty is more than skin deep.

So we wonder was all Delilah’s deceit worth anything? Did all her cunning ways reach a goal? Did she achieve anything? NO! She lost her lover, she didn’t spend any of her money, as she probably lost her life when Samson pushed the pillars and demolished the Dagon temple, Judges 16:27.

Proverbs 31:10-12 Do you fear God enough to know not to play around with the gifts and talents you have been given? It is not always going to be easy, but are you prepared to pay the price? Are you going to be a hindrance or a help to your mate? As we go through all these experiences we have decisions to make. Are we going to be a Darling or a Delilah?

Helps to ask ourselves

1.  Have I an example to follow (if not find one)?

2.  Am I obeying my Father’s commands to me?

3.  Have I a behaviour I need to change?

4.  Have I a sin I need to confess?

If so it is easy, repent now, make a personal commitment to Jesus to put these things right. Ask Him for His help and strength in this area, Galatians 5:16. Sin can only increase in power when hidden. When released it loses its power. Yippee!! And Amen!!


No.09 – Are you a Darling or a Delilah? – Challenge Questions

1.  Read the notes ‘Are you a Darling or a Delilah?’ Do you think that Delilah understood what she was going to do from the start? Why do you think that?


2.  Can you give a modern example of the same story?


3.  What are you challenged about in this study?


4.  How was the end of Samson’s life more fruitful than the beginning?


Read Joshua 2:1-21

5.  What were Rahab’s two jobs? (Joshua 2:1).


6.  What did Rahab do for the two spies? (Joshua 2:2-6).


7.  What was Rahab’s knowledge of God and His action for Israel? (Joshua 2:9-11).


8.  What was the deal that Rahab made with the men and who did she expect to be included in the deal? (Joshua 2:12-14; Joshua 2:20).


9.  What was the sign agreed to seal the deal? What is the significance of this sign? (Joshua 2:18-19).



10. What was the result of the deal? (Joshua 6:22-25).


11. According to Hebrews 11:30-31 why was Rahab not destroyed? Give several things she did to prove her faith (James 2:25).


12. How do you think she felt as she looked out on the children of Israel walking around the walls of Jericho for seven days? (Joshua 6:1-20).


13. After the fall of Jericho, Rahab gave up her old life and married Salmon (Ruth 4:20-22; Joshua 6:25) Whose genealogy included her in the New Testament? (Matthew 1:5).


14. Write a sentence saying what has really spoken to you in this lesson.


15. Learn “…and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Hebrews 9:22.